


Happy Birthday, Thomas

by ClairesGuiltyPleasure



Series: Valentine's 2021 [4]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: Birthday, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, Thomas needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 05:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29273118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClairesGuiltyPleasure/pseuds/ClairesGuiltyPleasure
Summary: Birthdays were never happy times for Thomas. Jimmy wants to change that.
Relationships: Thomas Barrow/Jimmy Kent
Series: Valentine's 2021 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2143710
Comments: 4
Kudos: 30
Collections: Well I love you: Valentines for Thomas Barrow





	Happy Birthday, Thomas

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt 4. "Stay here and don't move. I'll be right back."

It was Thomas’s birthday. Not that it mattered, it was just another ordinary day. He never really celebrated because he didn’t have anybody to celebrate with. Sure, there was Jimmy, but neither of them had their half-day today, so they couldn’t even go to the pub for a drink. And besides, he just didn’t want to make a fuss. He didn’t see why he should celebrate getting old.

When he was a kid, he always looked forward to being another year older. At ten, he thought he was a big boy and went to the rocks. It was forbidden for children to go there, but he was basically an adult, so. He came home with a broken arm and bruised face. His father beat him that day. And Thomas learned then that he was still a child, but big enough to be responsible for his actions. It didn’t seem fair. When he turns twelve, he thought, perhaps he could go.

But when he turned twelve, this girl went and kissed him. He pushed her away so hard she stumbled and fell. And Thomas ran. He came home that night and there was his father and the girl’s father. He was shouted at and beat again. He was told that he should be happy a girl is interested in a worthless boy like him and that he better learned how to behave around ladies and treated them with the respect and love they deserve.

On his fourteenth birthday, his childhood ended. His father caught him with his hands down another boy’s trousers. By that time, Thomas already knew how to best shield himself from his father’s blows. But his father did something way worse. He said that Thomas was no longer his son. He was given an hour to pack his things and leave. And suddenly, Thomas didn’t want to get any older. He longed for the days when he was a little boy, not understanding the cruel world.

For the next few years his birthdays were too painful for him to do anything else than curl up in his bed and cry. Now, it was just a faded, sad memory. In service, it wasn’t usual to celebrate servants’ birthdays, so Thomas never even mentioned it to anyone. He was sure Carson must have the date written somewhere, but it was more likely that Isis serves tea to Lord Grantham than Carson acknowledging his birthday.

For some reason, Jimmy was more fidgety that day than usual. He was almost as clumsy as Alfred and that’s saying something. By some miracle Thomas and Carson managed to save luncheon from being a total disaster. Thomas asked him several times what the matter was, but never got a proper answer. Right after servants’ dinner, Jimmy told Thomas to follow him.

“Where are we going?”

“Just to the attic, don’t worry,” Jimmy answered and climbed up the stairs. He opened the door to Thomas’s room as if it belonged to him. He stepped inside and looked around, nodding to himself.

“Stay here and don’t move. I’ll be right back,” he told Thomas who had no idea what was going on. He thought that he was being made fun of but didn’t understand what the joke was. A few minutes later, he could hear Jimmy in the corridor again. The door opened and Jimmy came in, holding a birthday cake.

“Happy birthday, Thomas,” he said and smiled. They sat on the bed next to each other, the cake on a chair in front of them. Out of his pocket Jimmy took a small box. “This is for you,” he handed it to him. Thomas opened it to reveal beautiful cufflinks that looked silver with some sort of green stone. They were beautiful and must’ve cost a fortune.

“Jimmy, this is too much. I can’t take them.”

“Of course, you can. And you will. They are yours.” Jimmy’s voice held no room for argument.

“Thank you, they are perfect. I – how did you even know it was my birthday? I’m sure I’ve never told you.”

“No. You didn’t. I asked Miss Baxter. I figured she’d know. She didn’t want to tell me at first. Said it’s not a very happy day for you. Managed to get her to tell me eventually. Thought we could create some new memories, happy ones, y’know.” Jimmy’s face was so open and hopeful and lovely. He was looking at Thomas, a little nervous maybe, waiting for him to say something. Jimmy was never this sentimental, said he hated all that stuff. And still he had gone and done this for him, and Thomas was suddenly overcome by an emotion he couldn’t name.

And then, he was kissing Jimmy. He was trying to convey all his feelings with the kiss. And then Jimmy was kissing him back and it was perfect, and Jimmy was parting his lips and their tongues touched. And then it hit him. He was kissing Jimmy. Oh God. Oh no, no, no.

He pulled back, the horror he felt must’ve been visible on his face. He took Jimmy’s friendship, the one good thing in his life and wrecked it. He could feel tears in his eyes. “Jimmy, I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, please forgive me, please-”

“Shh, it’s okay. Thomas, it’s okay,” Jimmy held Thomas’s face in his hands, just like Thomas tried to do all those years ago. And then Jimmy kissed him lightly, nipping at his lower lip. “See? It’s okay.” And Thomas didn’t understand anything anymore.

“Now,” Jimmy said, “let’s eat the cake. You have no idea what it took to bribe Daisy to make it for me.”

The cake was delicious. Thomas remembered he had a bottle of wine stashed somewhere and they had a toast. They didn’t kiss again and neither of them mentioned it. They had a lovely evening, but Thomas couldn’t help but travel in his memory back to the kiss again and again.

“I think it’s time we both go to sleep,” said Jimmy long after they heard everybody else going to their rooms for the night.

“You are right.” There was a beat of silence before Thomas spoke again. “Jimmy, the kiss… Was it because of my birthday?” He had to know. He needed to.

Jimmy looked at the floor, considering what to say. There was an easy out for Jimmy and they both knew it. “No,” was the answer. “I don’t know why it was or what it means yet, but it wasn’t because of your birthday,” Jimmy looked him it the eyes and Thomas saw that he meant it. Jimmy then placed a peck on his forehead, his nose, his cheek, and his mouth. “Goodnight, Thomas,” he said quietly.

Thomas sat motionless for a long time after Jimmy left, thinking that his birthday is never going to be a day of sadness again.


End file.
